WHAT THE HELL

Kevin Brennan Writes About What It's Like

Doesn’t my brain have anything better to do?

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The Carpenters

The human mind is a puzzling thing. In the predawn hours, knowing that I’d be deprived of an additional hour of sleep, mine served me The Carpenters’ “For All We Know” — in its entirety, accurate and complete, with feelin’, and including the eerie oboe line and treacled harmony on the word, “Waaaaaaaaaaah” — which, I don’t even know what that means.

So I woke up unable to get the song out of my head. I wasn’t even thinking about that junior high dance where I tried slow dancing with Sandy Becker to this very song, but couldn’t get through it because Mike Messner wouldn’t stop pointing at us and laughing.

Sometimes I wish I could cut off my mental supply of pop tunes. Nostalgia isn’t worth the agony.

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10 comments on “Doesn’t my brain have anything better to do?

  1. lionaroundwriting
    March 9, 2014

    Having a brain will do this to you.

  2. John W. Howell
    March 9, 2014

    Think of the brain as a tool of torture and you’ll understand why a slow dance to the Carpenters is even in the recall bank. Should have been deleted long ago except for the cringe factor.

  3. ericjbaker
    March 10, 2014

    My taste and appreciation for music is nearly limitless. From the earliest known choral works to the pulse of contemporary hip-hop. From the deepest of delta blues to the most dance-inducing radio pop. From the hardest of New York’s bop jazz in the 1950s to the most blistering Swedish speed metal, my music interests reach across the globe, digging into the most obscure recesses in search of new sounds, kicking down the boundaries of genre, and fighting any effort to define me as a listener.

    And then there’s The Carpenters. No amount of pretentious, self-congratulatory word wanking will let me reframe The Carpenters as anything other than My Dad’s Music.

    Now let me get out of here before anyone sends any hate daggers my way. I made the mistake of referring to the Carpenters as a “cheesy 70s band” in front of a fan once. I’ve never been give a more chilling stare in my life.

    • Kevin Brennan
      March 10, 2014

      No hate daggers here. “Cheesy” doesn’t quite cut it when describing them. Of course, neither does “band.”

      • ericjbaker
        March 10, 2014

        It was a conversational moment. Young person says, “Who the hell are the Carpenters?” Older person makes flippant remark. Deranged third person says “The Carpenters are AWESOME,” and then stares silently at older person for the next half hour, refusing to engage in any more conversation. Deranged third person was proven to be deranged but subsequent behaviors that required handcuffing and removal from property by law-enforcement officers.

  4. 1WriteWay
    March 11, 2014

    Don’t forget The Captain and Tennille …

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This entry was posted on March 9, 2014 by in Music.
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