WHAT THE HELL

Kevin Brennan Writes About What It's Like

Una casa en lo alto de una colina

House

The house we’re planning to build up in the Sierra foothills is slowly starting to take shape. Above is the architect’s 3D rendering of the current design (click for a slightly larger view), which shows the house on a barren, post-apocalyptic hellscape. The actual site is full of oak and pine trees, thank goodness.

Some time ago, my wife and I realized that we are hermits, so this is going to be the crowning glory of our isolationist instincts. We’ll be blissfully nestled among the trees, with five acres surrounding us and — I never knew I wanted one so bad! — a gate. No more Fuller Brush men showing up at the door unannounced. No more Jehovah’s Witnesses trying to save our souls. No more greedy little sugar addicts driving the dog nuts on Halloween.

Oh, how we’re going to love it!

As you might be able to make out, the front façade is a huge garage door. Bet on it: that thing’s going to be wide open almost all the time. There’s a small deck out front, and a large one on the side, with a view of the mountains to the east.

Views. I guess they’re okay. I just keep thinking of the kick-ass writing I’m going to get done up there!

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14 comments on “Una casa en lo alto de una colina

  1. John W. Howell
    October 20, 2014

    Don’t forget the generator.

  2. Pamela Beckford
    October 20, 2014

    Living on 6 acres with no close neighbors, I can tell you, it will be wonderful. I only wish Indiana weather allowed me to be outdoors more than a couple of months in the summer to enjoy it.

    • Kevin Brennan
      October 20, 2014

      We’ll have one relatively close neighbor, but they seem very quiet. Mostly what we hear are nearby horses.

      I worry a little about the weather. Gets frightfully hot up there, but the trees should help.

  3. Dylan Hearn
    October 20, 2014

    It looks wonderful. I’m very jealous!

  4. Phillip McCollum
    October 20, 2014

    I’m so green with envy right now, you might mistake me for the spokesman of a certain line of frozen vegetables.

  5. 1WriteWay
    October 20, 2014

    I am so jealous … beyond jealous really. I wouldn’t put it past me to jump your gate 😉 I hope your property lines hold up. My hubby & I watched a documentary on the Galapagos last night — The Galapagos Affair: Satan Came to Eden. About a German couple in the 1930s who wanted to live out their lives in isolation on a little island and how that didn’t work out so well 😉

    You didn’t mention all the other annoyances you won’t miss like, incessantly barking dogs; leaf-blowers roaring at 9 am on a Saturday; lawn mowers cranking up at 9 am on a Sunday; illegal fireworks from your neighbors’ yard falling into yours; somebody else’s dog poo in your yard; the encroachment of rental property; the general white noise of suburbia.

    I hope my husband and I make a move like yours someday. We may not be able to get 5 acres and I am partial to city utilities, but hopefully, someday, we can escape suburbia …

    • Kevin Brennan
      October 20, 2014

      Oh, you’re so right about all those other annoyances. The dog poop is killing me! I caught someone letting her dog do it in my yard once and I told her to pick it up. She looked at me like, “Asshole!” Can you believe that?

      Luckily we won’t be all THAT isolated. There’s a great restaurant within a mile, and a little town named Cool within five. We should be able to get all our geriatric supplies just fine. 😁

      As for jumping over the gate, don’t worry. We’ll leave it open for ya.

  6. Gretchen Getsinger
    October 20, 2014

    My kind of place! Good luck and happy writing!

    • Kevin Brennan
      October 20, 2014

      Thanks, Gretchen! I hope I can concentrate up there…

  7. ericjbaker
    October 21, 2014

    Cool pad. I think your should build it on top of a corrugated metal pyramid, though. Austerity Now!

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This entry was posted on October 20, 2014 by in Et alia and tagged .
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