Kevin Brennan Writes About What It's Like
Couplets Bidding Farewell to 2014
So 2014 has stumbled to its welcome close.
Here’s how it went, in poetry instead of prose.
I’ve made a list of things about this anno
That made me want it snuffed by T. Soprano:
Planes were always falling from the sky,
Yet, number-wise, it was the safest year to fly.
Olympics were, apparently, held in Russia,
If you went to protest, though, they tried to hush ya.
Also, Crimea got annexed by Vlad Putin,
At least there wasn’t all that much shootin’.
Seems some guy named Clooney tied the knot.
Will the marriage last? That’s food for thought…
Ebola started scaring us all shitless,
Giving in to fear proved that we’re all witless.
Democrats got creamed in the elections.
Viagra ladies went on and on about erections.
Beheadings carried out by evil ISIS,
Just what we need: another mideast crisis.
Israelis and Palestinians continued fighting.
Wake me when they start, for real, uniting.
A woman just got shot in Wal-Mart by her baby.
Jesus, people. Next year — gun reform, maybe?
Ferguson revealed we are far from saints.
All lives matter; racism taints.
Bill Cosby looks like he’s tumbled from grace.
What if all those women carried mace?
We’ve said a fond farewell to Stephen Colbert,
We’ll miss him. This proves life ain’t fair.
On the plus side, hey, we landed on a comet!
One thing, at least, that didn’t make me vomit.
Happy New Year!