WHAT THE HELL

Kevin Brennan Is Self-Publishing His New Novel

Let’s see how smart you are…

ThPhilosopherCapitoline
How many of you out there are left-handed?

I am, and so is my wife. Did you know that being left-handed is one of the thirteen signs that you’re probably smart?

Not braggin’. Just sayin’.

If you happen to be right-handed, there’s still hope. Here are some of the other traits of smartfolk:

You took music lessons.
You’re the oldest sibling in your family.
You’re thin.
You have a cat.
You were breastfed.
You’ve used recreational drugs. (What?)
You’re tall.
You drink alcohol regularly. (What?)
You’re politically liberal.
You learned to read early.
You worry a lot.
You’re funny.

These are backed up by actual and true scientific studies. If you don’t have any of them, you can blame the scientific method. Or start using drugs.

Now, I have several of these in my armamentarium, but other than being left-handed I won’t say which ones. Intelligence is a relative thing, and it’s also subject to specialization. For instance, I used to know a guy who wasn’t all that bright but he could take apart any machine and put it back together in better condition than it was in before — blindfolded. I can’t even figure out how a Thermos keeps things hot or cold!

So. Care to do an inventory? How many of these do you have in your deck of smarty-pants traits?

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20 comments on “Let’s see how smart you are…

  1. islandeditions
    December 9, 2015

    I only seem to be 2/3rds smart. Must try harder or maybe drink more … I did have to use my left hand to write when I broke my right arm once. Does that count?

    • Kevin Brennan
      December 9, 2015

      You were an honorary left-hander. Why didn’t you convert when you had the chance?!

  2. Melisa
    December 9, 2015

    I am not left-handed but I’ve noticed this is really true, that left-handed people are highly intelligent. I wonder if that makes me 10% smarter than the average right-handed.

    Thanks for your data, Kevin. They made me think again.

    • Kevin Brennan
      December 9, 2015

      You definitely get extra credit for acknowledging the truth, Melisa! I bet you have some of the other things on the list, though…

      • Melisa
        December 16, 2015

        Right, Kevin, but I think being mentally gifted doesn’t count much when you have bouts of self-doubt. 😦

        I have also noticed that left-handed people are emotionally secure. I really admire them–and I get fascinated every time I see them write with their dominant hand.

      • Kevin Brennan
        December 16, 2015

        I think self-doubt is probably part of the human condition whether you’re right- or left-handed, brilliant or average. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism…

        The only problem with writing as a left-hander is that you get ink or pencil all over the side of your hand!

  3. John W. Howell
    December 9, 2015

    Wait what?

  4. 1WriteWay
    December 9, 2015

    I have a cat. Well, I also have a couple of the other traits but I won’t say which ones 😉

    • Kevin Brennan
      December 9, 2015

      You have several cats! Your intelligence goes up exponentially with each one… 😺

      • 1WriteWay
        December 13, 2015

        Then I’m a genius because since we’ve been living here, we’ve cared for 11 cats 😉

      • Kevin Brennan
        December 13, 2015

        I suspect you’re on the liberal side too… 😛

  5. pinklightsabre
    December 9, 2015

    All except right-handed, not really tall. I feel pretty good now Kevin, thanks. Just had a hot shower and ran to the oldest pub in Ireland and wrote a bit there with my right hand and had a couple drinks and you know, if I could have, I might have had a recreational drug just BECAUSE. Being funny and worrying are easy, like body odor.

    • Kevin Brennan
      December 9, 2015

      I wonder if body odor is the unspoken, black sheep indicator of intelligence. I once knew a dude — the smartest guy around — whom you could smell approaching minutes ahead of his appearance. Scary stuff!

  6. sknicholls
    December 9, 2015

    Short, fat, dog owner here and a middle child. But I’m losing weight really fast. I played three songs on the saxophone in middle school. Maybe I took too many drugs in high school. I was bottle fed, but hey that’s not my fault. I was reading at the age of four…is that early? I’m politically liberal and have a glass of Cabernet every night after dinner. I worry…a lot. See, now you’ve got me feeling bad about myself. What if I’m not as smart as I thought I was?

  7. Tara Sparling
    December 10, 2015

    Hmmm. Not sure about this. Do these traits indicate a propensity to judge, or actual smartieness? You could say the same list is indicative of hipsterdom!

  8. wheremyfeetare
    December 10, 2015

    I had a cat! No? Hmm, I may have to start drinking and drugging. 🙂

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