Kevin Brennan Writes About What It's Like
This election has us all fit to be tied, and not only because of the cage match of Trump vs. Clinton. I finally got the California ballot pamphlet in the mail the other day and learned that there are seventeen propositions to be voted on this time out.
I hate ballot propositions. They seem designed to deceive. On the surface, with a benign title like “Orphaned Puppy Welfare,” a given measure might seem like a no-brainer. Who doesn’t want to help the orphaned puppies out there? But then you look a the pro and con arguments and the organizations and individuals in support and against the prop. Looks like this thing was put on the ballot by “Efficient Euthanasia” and gets a thumbs up from “Future Serial Killers Need Practice!” Whoa.
As I slowly make my way through the pamphlet, I’m wavering on almost every proposition, trying to balance the sober reasonableness of the League of Women Voters against the myopic focus of Californians For the Total Obliteration of Taxes. Bernie Sanders is for Prop. 61, so that one’s easy. And anything George Clooney’s for, I’m for too. If Tom Selleck is for something, I’m pretty sure it needs to be defeated. He stole our water for his tax-dodging avocado farm.
“Don’t be fooled!” the against arguments always say. “This measure isn’t what it seems to be!”
Well, it seems to be an effort by the drug companies to charge the highest possible prices they can, so if it’s not what it seems to be I guess I’m for it!
What I’ve learned over my twenty-eight years living here in the Golden State is that the measures I vote yes on never win. This time I think I’ll use reverse psychology and vote no on the ones I favor, yes on the ones I’m against. That way I’ll come out ahead, even if a year from now I won’t be able to remember how I voted on any of them.
Among the seventeen this year? Propositions to legalize recreational pot and to require porn actors to wear condoms. The juxtaposition is exquisite.
Democracy (I think it was Churchill who said): The worst form of government there is, aside from all the others.
So be careful when you make your voting decisions on ballot measures. Oh, and be sure to tell all your cranky conservative uncles: #NeverTrump!