WHAT THE HELL

Kevin Brennan Is Self-Publishing His New Novel

Apocalypse … wow!

ahh

It just dawned on me. The apocalypse has commenced!

I was trying to explain to myself all the crappy things that have been happening on this globe, from climate change to Trump’s election, when it occurred to me that everything is connected.

It’s not a coincidence that we’ve lost our national mind the same year Britain does. Or that California is getting doused with record-breaking rains just as Italy signs on to the earthquake-a-week plan. Or that each and every one of “President” Trump’s cabinet appointments has been chosen because of their documented objection to the mission of the department they’ll be running. Or that corporations like Volkswagen calculate the risk/benefit ratio of equipping their cars with smog-test defeat gear and decide it’s worth it to pump forty times the allowable toxins into the air if it means boffo sales. Or that our leaders think that more than thirty million people losing their health insurance is a reasonable price to pay for the political satisfaction of repealing Obamacare. Jerusalem looms in the news too. Oh goody.

You know I could go on. And on.

All of this can mean only one thing, and that is that the End Times predictors were right. Mostly they thought the shit would hit the fan around the year 2000, so we’re already running a little late. No, these have not been particularly delightful years since then, so it’s not like we made the most of the delay. September 11th. The Iraq war. The war in Afghanistan. The Great Recession. 2 Broke Girls. So much devastation.

I think we can all agree that Donald Trump is the Antichrist. It’s good to have that settled, so we can scratch Barack Obama off the list, and all the other progressive people Jerry Falwell accused of it at one time or another. It’s clear that Johnny Rotten was just kidding when he claimed the moniker. Not sure, though, what he meant by, “Cos I, I wanna be anarchy! No dogsbody!”

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Sick, sick, sicks

Now, the good news, as I understand it, is that the Antichrist only rules for forty-two months. I know, that’s just a little bit shy of four years, but at least this tells us that Trump isn’t a two-term Antichrist. Small blessings, eh? On the other hand, he will dish out a lot of pain over those forty-two months, I’m sure, and it won’t be a barrel of laughs. For one thing, we’re all going to have to have the mark of the beast on our foreheads if we want to buy food and stuff, but instead of “666” It’ll be something creepy, like the image opposite. Right there on your forehead.

The Antichrist is doomed to wind up in the lake of fire, but for all we know that could mean he heads down to Mar-A-Lago, having been “fired.” Impeachment? We’ll have to wait and see.

I don’t know what proper behavior is during the apocalypse, so I guess the only thing to do is wing it. I have to admit, I did not see this coming. What does one wear as civilization unravels and it begins to rain brimstone and frogs? Should one still buy season tickets? Where can I get some magic mushrooms? So many questions …

Whatever the case, take care of yourself during the coming tribulations, and keep telling yourself that forty-two months isn’t so very long, then it’ll all be over with. Bigly.

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21 comments on “Apocalypse … wow!

  1. Charles Yallowitz
    January 25, 2017

    Considering what he’s doing with environmental regulations, I could see him ending up of a lake of fire.

    • Kevin Brennan
      January 25, 2017

      It happened in Cleveland, after all! Burn, baby, burn.

      • Charles Yallowitz
        January 25, 2017

        I’ve been seeing a lot of ‘he won so shut up’ stuff on social media today. Guess people really want to defend this.

    • Audrey Driscoll
      January 25, 2017

      And the rest of us,unfortunately.

  2. islandeditions
    January 25, 2017

    We all need to keep writing, furiously and with fury, just as you have done here, Kevin.

    • Kevin Brennan
      January 25, 2017

      You know what they say: If you see something, say something.

  3. Pamela Beckford
    January 25, 2017

    Time for a coup. The Resistance has to stay strong. And we must get a balance in congress again so his idiotic ideas can’t get through. I keep wondering how little no until he is bored with this new job.

    • Kevin Brennan
      January 25, 2017

      To think we now live in a time where there has to be “a Resistance.” But it’s true, and we need to pressure our representatives to get real.

      • Pamela Beckford
        January 25, 2017

        But I live in bright red Indiana, home of vice-idiot Pence.

  4. Tim Baker
    January 25, 2017

    I love the smell of alternative facts in the morning!

    • Kevin Brennan
      January 25, 2017

      Perfect tie-in! (I’m calling alternative facts “phacts” from now on …)

  5. S.K. Nicholls
    January 25, 2017

    Just when I thought there was a candidate that could take us down the road to prosperity, Bernie Sanders, we get this bait and switch. I blame Hillary for Donald Trumps admission into the White House. All blame aside, WTH do we do now? Two of my dearest friends have already moved to Belize.

    • Kevin Brennan
      January 25, 2017

      I think the only thing to do is get active and loud. If we can build a Tea Party-like movement that makes our reps feel insecure, maybe they’ll move away from the brink. After all, Belize isn’t an option for most of us!

      • S.K. Nicholls
        January 25, 2017

        The Resistance is doing just that.

  6. John W. Howell
    January 25, 2017

    Had to laugh at the idea of wondering what to wear at the apocalypse. (It won’t matter)

  7. Ali Isaac
    January 25, 2017

    Its hard to watch all tbe good work done by previous presidents being systematically dismantled. I think his presidency is going to be charactetised by many demonstrations. He is rapidly going about becoming the most hated man in America. Enjoyed your post. 😊 Words have power. Especially the best words. But only if they’re not alternative facts! Hehe! 😂

    • Kevin Brennan
      January 25, 2017

      Thanks for reading, Ali. It is disheartening to see how destructive an administration can be, and I’m afraid it’s only going to get worse as the weeks and months go on. But you’re right: there is going to be resistance from the grassroots. ✊

  8. Helena Hann-Basquiat
    January 25, 2017

    Am I the only one who thinks that if Hillary had won, she would have had at least ONE attempt on her life already?

    • Kevin Brennan
      January 25, 2017

      Threats, for sure. Welcome to the Land of the Double Standard!

  9. Audrey Driscoll
    January 25, 2017

    So the Wall is going to be built, and American taxpayers are going to pay up front. I wonder if this might be what keeps him to a single term…

    • Kevin Brennan
      January 25, 2017

      I can’t believe people think a symbolic wall is worth that kind of money. I doubt if it’ll ever get finished, but of course even that’ll still cost more than the estimate. Arrrggghhhh!

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