Kevin Brennan Writes About What It's Like
My internet’s too slow!
I grow impatient in my middle age. More and more as I “surf the web,” as we used to say, I find it takes eons for all the content of a page to load. You can watch the little activity line on the browser as it shuffles through the different connections it’s making, a lot of them with the word “ad” in them.
Right. Ads are slowing everything the hell down. Plus my shitty Comcast cable line.
I just did a speed test and found my download speed is 9.35 Mbps. No wonder I can completely brush my teeth while a graphics-packed site like — all of them — loads. The Comcast promo said I’d be getting 25 Mbps, but when the guy installed it he said, Nah, not way out here. (But they charge the same price for 9.35 as they do for 25!)
How come it didn’t say in the come-on that if you live in the hills you can forget 25 Mbps?
Still I’m not about to switch to HughesNet. They promise higher speeds ‘cuz they’re satellite internet, but the people in their commercials are like Stepford internet users (“So go ahead — learn new things!”).
You’ve probably heard, and it’s true, that in Europe and other parts of the world they get much faster speeds at half the cost. Really? Why do you suppose that is? Let’s see, maybe they don’t tilt the playing field over there to feed you right into the gaping mouths of megacorporations like Comcast and AT&T. They have more vibrant competition between companies there — actual capitalism instead of our version, which is all about capturing markets and getting as close to a monopoly as possible without breaking the law.
The same thing’s going on with the airlines. The reason United can beat the crap out of some guy and drag him off the plane is, Who else you gonna fly from Chicago to Louisville? We’ll beat the crap out of you and you’ll like it.
I hate how slow my internet is, but I have no intention of moving out of beautiful downtown Cool, California, just so I can enjoy cat memes a little bit faster. I’ll just keep complaining instead.
Sorry, it’s just a pet peeve of mine: My internet’s too slow.