Shakespeare … for millennials. Enjoy.
Sonnet XX*
A woman’s face with nature’s own hand painted,
Hast thou, the master mistress of my passion;
You look hot, girl.
A woman’s gentle heart, but not acquainted
With shifting change, as is false women’s fashion:
Most women are bitches, but you a’ight.
An eye more bright than theirs, less false in rolling,
Like, you don’t give side eye,
Gilding the object whereupon it gazeth;
And everything you look at is gold, babe!
A man in hue all hues in his controlling,
Wait, don’t tell me you’re a dude!
Which steals men’s eyes and women’s souls amazeth.
Even a hot-looking one.
And for a woman wert thou first created;
‘Cuz I think you used to be a girl.
Till Nature, as she wrought thee, fell a-doting,
And by addition me of thee defeated,
So I was out of the running
By adding one thing to my purpose nothing.
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