Swift kicks

I am not unhappy about not getting Taylor Swift tickets. I didn’t try to get any. I wasn’t obsessively waiting for the big presale event. In fact, I was oblivious to the fact that Taylor Swift was going on tour. I can’t name even one Taylor Swift song, but whenever I see a clip of one of her videos for the new record, Midnights, I drift into a standing nap. This could be because I’m not a preadolescent American female. I’ve seen girls on news reports weeping uncontrollably over not getting Taylor Swift tickets, mascara running down their cheeks as they tell us how unfair it is. They are among the guys Taylor Swift is talking to whenever she says, I love you guys. So much. Shouldn’t the guys Taylor Swift loves be entitled to tickets to her Eras tour? Shouldn’t they be the ones offered the presale advantage rather than Ticketmaster Verified Fans or Capital One cardholders? Now they’re sitting ducks for the aftermarket, where I saw tickets being cruelly dangled in front of masacara-drippers for more than $34,000 a piece. If there was a chance to catch Jesus Christ at Levi’s Stadium I’d be hard pressed to pay that. I felt bad enough coughing up $400 for a pair of Paul McCartney tickets in 2014. Taylor Swift, tho. On the spectrum, is she closer to Jesus Christ or to Paul McCartney? Who decides these things? Isn’t virtual reality advanced enough yet that we can’t just pop for a VR headset and pay, say, $800 for the experience in our own living rooms? I might consider that. Not for Taylor Swift but maybe Billie Holiday, brought back to life through the miracle of technology. When will holograms be available for private viewing? It broke my heart recently when Taylor Swift held all ten positions in the Billboard Top Ten, which shattered all previous records and made her the stuff of legend in a world where legends used to be giants. Now we get homogenized pop stars who sing about their breakups and try to defy aging as long as they can so Ticketmaster can vacuum up money from every forlorn young girl in the land.

No, I’m not unhappy about not getting Taylor Swift tickets.

---

Photo by Chaz McGregor on Unsplash.

Advertisement